So, I’ve been feeling very insecure with myself just recently. It’s something I go through every once in a while –I’m sure everyone goes through it sometimes… I hope.
It’s the “am I good enough” curse. Am I good enough?? Are you good enough?? The answer: yes. We ARE good enough. God says so! ** this is where I run to grab my Captivating book so I can back up my thoughts here **
…okay so, I grabbed the book, started skimming through, reminisced all of the spiritual and personal growth I’ve gotten from the Captivating study (BTW, if you haven’t heard of this study, it’s by John and Stasi Eldredge and SO worth the investment of going through), couldn’t find anything directly to put into this message, put the book down, made and had dinner and here I am coming back to you with empty hands. Although, while I was cooking dinner, I started rambling scripture that I didn’t know I even knew –and it was relevant to my topic here. :-/
Satan is always trying to grab us somehow and make those seeds of insecurity grow.
Here’s something to think about and to believe:
From Captivating:
“You are passionately loved the the God of the universe.
You are passionately hated by his Enemy.”
Being insecure in myself, who I am, and what I do is something I’m good at so, when the opportunity arises, it’s very easy to fall into. …and oh boy, it’s been trying to eat me alive. I put my trust in God that this will pass and I ask Him for strength everyday. –Don’t worry, I’m a big girl, and I have a really big God ;o)
Is there something that you fall into easily? Guilt? Fear? Anger? Sadness? Loneliness? Pride? Envy? Are you good at any of these? When you’re being good at it, does it control you?
Who is your God?
“…He hears their cries for help and rescues them.” Psalm 145:19
“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O, my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:5-8 NLT
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Last week was a rough week. The nature of it seems to be spreading into this week as well. Nothing earth-shattering has happened but it’s the little things that just keep adding up that make it rough. Everyone has those weeks. You may even have had the same thing going on. I was preparing the Sunday School lesson last week and I was teaching about joy. “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” …okay so, I’ve managed to memorize scripture but I am horrible at remembering where it is in the Bible! Ugh. I’ll work on it… Anyway, with all the little things kind of falling apart around me and really testing me and trying to bring me down, I still felt joy! I couldn’t explain it but even when there was a morning that my girls were bickering nonstop, we were running late, I had bad hair (yes, it matters), and a bunch of other stuff going on, I walked out of the house with the girls absolutely prepared to run out of gas on the way to their school. Before we got into our minivan, I explained to Rhiannon and Blair that we may possibly run out of gas before we got to their school. Of course it was raining out, why wouldn’t it be?? I told them that I wasn’t going to get upset by it. Whatever happened would happen and we’d have to deal with it. God would take care of us and everything would be okay. It wouldn’t be the end of the world… that was supposed to happen Saturday! HA! ;o)
The girls and I prayed to God, thanking Him for each other, for time to talk about God together, and the trials He gives us that make us stronger. We did not ask Him for gas in the van, to even let me make it to the nearest gas station, or for Him to make the rest of the day go better. I told the girls about the joy I was feeling in my heart even though it didn’t look like the day would get much better and that I felt okay that not everything was going right. That’s not how it’s always supposed to be! The possibility of running out of gas presented adventure! We were ready to take anything on thrown at us! We even laughed about everything that wasn’t going well that morning and then, we got in the van.
I gave Rhiannon and Blair a glance in the back of the van and said, “Ready?” –oh, we were ready. I started the van, prepared to see the “gasometer” (that’s what I call it) needle on E… and you know what?! I had half a tank of gas!!! WHAT?!
Do you know how excited I was? And oh, yes, praises to God went flying all through the van!
Lesson of the day, kids… I’m pretty sure you can figure this one out ;o)
This week, I am preparing a lesson for the kids about peace. I didn’t realize that along with that joy I was feeling, I was completely at peace. What an interesting way that God teaches us about Him, isn’t it? For that, I am so thankful.
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