Maybe She's Born With It…

I watched her draw a black line on the inside of her bottom lid without a flinch. As she pumped the small bottle and fluttered her lashes across a sludgy brush, I thought nothing more of it than "this is just what she does". 

Eventually, the haze of Aqua Net poured out from the bathroom as a sign that her masterpiece was complete. 

My mom was always beautiful. She wore dresses and skirts to work; spent what seemed like an eternity on hair and makeup; always wore Sand and Sable perfume and high heels. 

Of course, I wanted to be just like her -she was beautiful! 

What is our fascination with outward beauty and where did it come from? 


According to wikipedia, "the first archaeological evidence of cosmetics usage was found in Egypt around 3500 BC during the old kingdom." I didn't find anything explaining why it was used. 
Makeup is also referenced in the Bible. 2Kings 4:30 describes Jezebel applying makeup to her eyelids and doing her hair just before she was killed. By the way the chapter reads, it seems like she knew she would be killed -she was an evil chick. 
In the book of Esther, cosmetics are used again. Before Esther could be presented to King Xerxes, "beauty treatments" were to be done for 12 months. Six months were oil of myrrh (maybe a skin softener??) and the other six months were cosmetics and perfumes. 


That doesn't answer my question, though. It just confirms that makeup has been around since… Cleopatra? (who, as I've learned, was not described as "beautiful" and had very masculine features)


Makeup has had it's ups and downs as far as what is acceptable. There have been times that it has been frowned upon, and times like today where it is embraced. Something else from the article I read on wikipedia summed up a small number of studies on college aged girls as this, "anxious, insecure females are motivated to apply cosmetics more so than females who are emotionally secure, socially confident, and perceive themselves as physically attractive.". Well, that sounds about right, doesn't it?

While I do believe the studies on that age range sound accurate, I believe as women age and mature, the results in some cases are different. Some women like to "look nice" -this means they're not overly worried about their appearance but when going somewhere special, they like to "look nice". Some women chose to not bother with makeup because they're so wounded inside that they adorn themselves with false ego and the need for control. Then, you can go back into the studies of the college girls and still find the same results in grown women. 


There are definitely extremes, healthy, and bad habits. 


I've learned that insecurity comes from a lack of knowing and trusting God. I, personally, have gained security through my faith in Him and the things I've been insecure about have diminished greatly. I still occasionally hear the enemy tell me I'm not good enough but I'm getting better at not listening to his lies. 
A few weeks ago, I was doing my makeup as Curt was driving us to church (I typically only do my makeup Sunday morning during the ride to church). I had just bought my first mineral face powder to "even my skintone" and a super soft face brush applicator. The powder was rather messy and after closing the container, a cloud of powder filled the front of the van. Curt looked at me and asked, "What is that stuff for, anyway?". I replied, "It fixes my face." "Why?" he asked. Quickly, without thinking much about it, I said "Because I don't like my face.". Curt responded with something I never expected. He firmly said, "If anyone else were to say that about you, I'd punch them in the face.". I took that in for moment, thought about what he meant and told him, "I think that may be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me!". 
Sometimes I get caught up in the lies Satan tells me. He tells me that I'm not attractive and that even my husband sees no beauty. I'm not perfect by any means! When I am engaging in God's Word, and living to glorify Him, is when the enemy attacks. At the same time, I am growing stronger to identify and deflect the lies.

1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

It's okay to do yourself up to look nice but your true inner beauty needs to shine through and be the primary. No matter what your face, hair, and body look like; the beauty that matters come from within. 


This morning, I found myself explaining to my daughters what the cosmetic commercial means when they say "Maybe she's born with it… Maybe it's _________" (fill in the blank b/c I don't know squat about copyright laws and if I could get into trouble for using their name) 
I think we're all "born with it". It just depends on what we choose to do with it. We can harden our hearts and become strong-willed and stubborn, or we can glorify God with the fruits of the Spirit shining through us. 

 God, create a pure heart in me.

Give me a new spirit that is faithful to you.

Psalm 51:10 NirV

funky stuff

I've been in a funk for quite some time now.
It's just a season, though. I know it will pass.
I don't mean to blog much about these funks but really, if I were to write about anything else right now, I wouldn't feel like I was honoring God.
I really feel lead to post this... in the past 2 months, I've started 4 posts. They're sitting in my "posts to be edited" pile because as I was writing them, they didn't feel "God lead".

I think God is showing me things. Things I should be concerned with and maybe some things I should let go of. Even though it's not much fun, I always take these "funks" of mine and learn from them. It's a growing pain! :o)

What do you do when you get in a funk? Do you try to get yourself out or do you surrender and realize that it's not yours to get out of?

Some verses come to mind....
(Still fresh in my head because I taught these to the kids a couple weeks ago)

       Jeremiah 29:11-13 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 

'Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give hope and a future. 

Then you will call on me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. 

     When you seek me, you will find me -when you seek me with all of your heart.'" 

I fully trust the plans you have for me, Abba Father. Lord, I am seeking you! I am calling on you!
And I, too, am listening. 

...I'm just not quite sure of what I'm hearing.

and this is why I am also paying close attention to these next verses.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight."

I might not understand what's going on with me currently but

I do understand that God knows and has purpose for it.

I trust Him and believe that He is straightening my path.

Have you ever fully let go and just let God do His work? Sometimes the answers seem simple to us and we think "God, why won't you just do this? It would solve everything! It would fix my problems!". 

But God's answers and solutions are so much more complex than we can comprehend. He might try to lead us one way while we're trying to scratch and claw ourselves down a path we want.

Just let go! Follow Him! Do what God is telling you to do instead of whatever it is you feel like doing. 

I am asking Him what I need to learn. I am asking Him how I can serve more. I am asking Him to show me what areas I need to grow in. 

I am not asking God why I'm in a funk. I already know why. He wants to teach me something.

I am not asking Him to bring me out of it. I trust that He wants me here in this place for a reason.

What do you ask God when you're in a funk? When things aren't going well for you, what do you ask Him? I encourage you to spend time in prayer and let God give you the answers. Stop trying to figure out the answers yourself. They're not yours to answer! 

I've prayed about this post and I've put a lot of listening into it. I hope you, my friends, can use it :o)

Integrity.

My walk is not blameless. But I have a mighty God who loves me, forgives me, and grows in me everyday. I know I've grown in integrity and still have a way to go.     Not by what I've done 

but by what God has done in me. 

You can't simply "believe" in God -you have to pursue Him as He pursues you. It's the most amazing relationship... EVER. 

Last week, I started and completed a reading plan on www.youversion.com about integrity. I think it was a 7 day plan and I started it again yesterday. Some of these verses are probably the most important character builders I've ever read. 

FaceBook is one of my favorite places on the web. I love that I get to sneak-a-peek into my friends' and families' lives and feel like I haven't missed a beat. The thing that breaks my heart is that poor character is displayed all over the place with negative status updates. In the past, I've been guilty of this as well. BUT, I've learned and grown since then and understand that 

whatever I put out there is a direct reflection of me. 

What have your status updates been? Truth is, I have some "friends" marked as "hide all posts".  

Last week at church, our pastor, Trent, gave a great sermon about integrity. Please check it out: http://www.vimeo.com/25638473

Psalm 15:1-5 NIV

1 Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?

Who may live on your holy mountain?

2 The one whose walk is blameless,

who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth from their heart;

3 whose tongue utters no slander,

who does no wrong to a neighbor,

and casts no slur on others;

4 who despises a vile person

but honors those who fear the Lord;

who keeps an oath even when it hurts,

and does not change their mind;

5 who lends money to the poor without interest;

who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

Whoever does these things

will never be shaken.

Proverbs 10:9

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,
but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.

1Peter 3:8-10, 13-16

8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, 

love one another, 

be compassionate and humble.

9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. 

On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, 

because to this you were called 

so that you may inherit a blessing.

10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days 

must keep their tongue from evil

and their lips from deceitful speech.

13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.

 "Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened."

15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. 

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you 

to give the reason for the hope that you have. 

But do this with gentleness and respect,

16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously 

against your good behavior in Christ 

may be ashamed of their slander.

Just Thought I'd Share...

So, I’ve been feeling very insecure with myself just recently. It’s something I go through every once in a while –I’m sure everyone goes through it sometimes… I hope.

It’s the “am I good enough” curse. Am I good enough?? Are you good enough?? The answer: yes. We ARE good enough. God says so!  ** this is where I run to grab my Captivating book so I can back up my thoughts here **

…okay so, I grabbed the book, started skimming through, reminisced all of the spiritual and personal growth I’ve gotten from the Captivating study (BTW, if you haven’t heard of this study, it’s by John and Stasi Eldredge and SO worth the investment of going through), couldn’t find anything directly to put into this message, put the book down, made and had dinner and here I am coming back to you with empty hands.  Although, while I was cooking dinner, I started rambling scripture that I didn’t know I even knew –and it was relevant to my topic here.  :-/

Satan is always trying to grab us somehow and make those seeds of insecurity grow.

Here’s something to think about and to believe:

            From Captivating:

            “You are passionately loved the the God of the universe.

              You are passionately hated by his Enemy.”

Being insecure in myself, who I am, and what I do is something I’m good at so, when the opportunity arises, it’s very easy to fall into. …and oh boy, it’s been trying to eat me alive. I put my trust in God that this will pass and I ask Him for strength everyday. –Don’t worry, I’m a big girl, and I have a really big God ;o)

Is there something that you fall into easily? Guilt? Fear? Anger? Sadness? Loneliness? Pride? Envy? Are you good at any of these? When you’re being good at it, does it control you?

Who is your God? 

“…He hears their cries for help and rescues them.” Psalm 145:19

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O, my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:5-8 NLT

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Last week was a rough week. The nature of it seems to be spreading into this week as well. Nothing earth-shattering has happened but it’s the little things that just keep adding up that make it rough. Everyone has those weeks. You may even have had the same thing going on.  I was preparing the Sunday School lesson last week and I was teaching about joy. “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”   …okay so, I’ve managed to memorize scripture but I am horrible at remembering where it is in the Bible! Ugh. I’ll work on it… Anyway, with all the little things kind of falling apart around me and really testing me and trying to bring me down, I still felt joy! I couldn’t explain it but even when there was a morning that my girls were bickering nonstop, we were running late, I had bad hair (yes, it matters), and a bunch of other stuff going on, I walked out of the house with the girls absolutely prepared to run out of gas on the way to their school. Before we got into our minivan, I explained to Rhiannon and Blair that we may possibly run out of gas before we got to their school. Of course it was raining out, why wouldn’t it be?? I told them that I wasn’t going to get upset by it. Whatever happened would happen and we’d have to deal with it. God would take care of us and everything would be okay. It wouldn’t be the end of the world… that was supposed to happen Saturday! HA! ;o)

The girls and I prayed to God, thanking Him for each other, for time to talk about God together, and the trials He gives us that make us stronger. We did not ask Him for gas in the van, to even let me make it to the nearest gas station, or for Him to make the rest of the day go better. I told the girls about the joy I was feeling in my heart even though it didn’t look like the day would get much better and that I felt okay that not everything was going right. That’s not how it’s always supposed to be! The possibility of running out of gas presented adventure! We were ready to take anything on thrown at us! We even laughed about everything that wasn’t going well that morning and then, we got in the van.

I gave Rhiannon and Blair a glance in the back of the van and said, “Ready?” –oh, we were ready. I started the van, prepared to see the “gasometer” (that’s what I call it) needle on E… and you know what?! I had half a tank of gas!!! WHAT?!

Do you know how excited I was? And oh, yes, praises to God went flying all through the van!

Lesson of the day, kids… I’m pretty sure you can figure this one out ;o)

This week, I am preparing a lesson for the kids about peace. I didn’t realize that along with that joy I was feeling, I was completely at peace. What an interesting way that God teaches us about Him, isn’t it? For that, I am so thankful.

Oh.My.NationalMother'sDayOfScrapbookingCardmakingDishWashingLaundryWritingSundaySchoolLessonWorkingBeingAWifeGroceryShoppingPlayingWithTheKidsPrayer.

WHEW! ....I am SO glad the last word of my day is *prayer*. It's so relieving to always know that no matter how much I have going on in my day, God is just a prayer away! I have such comfort in knowing that He wants me to talk to Him and He knows my heart! I love how God talks back to me...

Even right now, catching my eye out of the window is the tuft of newly green leaves warmly lit by the morning sun not swaying but bouncing steadily and oddly graceful on the tree branch and from that view I turn my gaze not looking for anything but when I see it, I know it's for me. The word "Peace".  ...Oh how He knows my heart.

Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.". I am joyful in hope but prepare myself for the worst because I don't ever want to be ignorant to all possibilities. I even read in Proverbs the other day something about having hope but to also be prepared for the worst. I can't quote it exactly because when I read it, it makes perfect sense to me -it's something I already do- and I didn't know God would be having me share it today! Argh.
Why wouldn't we prepare ourselves?? When you go outside in the summer, don't you put on sunscreen? Sure, I want to go out and enjoy the sun BUT I do not want a nasty burn to go with it.  ...does this make any sense? Sometimes I kinda lose where I'm headed with something... not sure if this is one of those moments. It makes sense to me, though ;-)
"Patient in affliction" ...hmm... I think I'm doing pretty well at that. I'd like to say that generally, I'm a patient person. We all have our breaking points, though. Right? So, "patient in affliction", I'll have to say I'm improving. How is your patience level?? Do you fly off the handle about everything? -is that even a saying? I always mess those up... there's one about beating a horse with a dead stick and another about a water over the bridge...
And finally, my favorite, "faithful in prayer". Today is National Prayer Day. If that alone gets someone who usually doesn't pray to pray on this day once a year, that's great. There is so much in the world to pray for and all we need to do is present it to God, call out to Him, and humble ourselves to His will. Be faithful, diligent, and be ready for God's answer. Oooh what a sweet thing it is to hear the answer. You just know from every ounce of your being that it's His voice you're hearing.
One thing I've not ever really understood is how people can pray to God about something but when the answer comes being opposite of what they were asking, they get angry with Him. ...I'm gonna try another saying... "You better check yourself before you wreck yourself"? Hope I got it right ;-) SO if it's not the answer you wanted or if the answer doesn't make any sense to you, check yourself! Look over what you've been doing, what you occupy your time with, where your priorities are (especially where God ends up in your priorities), and try your best to see if God is correcting you or someone else directly or indirectly involved. There are so many reasons our Father tells us "no" sometimes. He's for sure not saying "Because I said so" -there is a reason! We are always being tempted and tested and we need to persevere and stay strong and exercise those obedience muscles.... flex those obs!

Accountability is such an important thing to have. Do you have someone to hold you accountable?? Honestly, I don't have a specified person that holds me accountable. I think I have a few very close friends that would call me out when needed (i hope) but I'm also really hard on myself and have my own expectations of me. Okay, I'm going to hold myself accountable to find a specific person to hold me accountable.  ...Accountability partner for hire :o)

Oh what a beautiful day! ...BTW I haven't made anything with fabric yet. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? It's not off the table by far- just when I ......ooh, summer is coming up fast = time on my hands ;-)

God Bless you all on this National Day of Prayer and in case I don't do this blog thingy again before Mother's Day (which is highly likely), Happy Mother's Day to you mommies, grandmommies, foster mommies, brand-spankin-new mommies, and to the daddies who have to be the mommy sometimes or even all of the time. It's a hard job but someone's gotta do it... and love it :)

Blog Anew... or A New Blog ;)

I'm feeling pretty ambitious, motivated, and generally healthy this beautiful (finally) spring day. So with that, I will thank God for all of my many blessings (including the most awesome surprise of a back massage while "my little lady" was being pedicured), and try to record and possibly share all of the thoughts and ideas that literally sprint through my mind! I seem to have, on average, one or two days a month that I feel completely inspired and excited about everything. Yes, everything. ... I'm convinced by self diagnosis that I'm manic. Oh and that I have ADD?? I so want one of those massaging chairs! Today is one of my up days so, of course, everything is wonderful! ...don't worry, i still have a toe touching the ground ;o)

I've tried the blog-scene before and wasn't really able to keep up on it. I didn't have a real purpose for it, though! This time, I have an idea of what I'd like to do with it. When I'm feeling inspired by something, I want to share it with you. It may be something that gets you going, too!

Anyway, today's inspiration came from a website I enjoy browsing every once in a while; Etsy.com. The website is a third party for people who want to sell their handmade items. IT IS SO COOL. I love seeing the creativity out there and, love getting fresh ideas... or being inspired by something someone has created. ...Thinking of our creator, I did find a seller who had some very interesting photography and I ended up on her seller profile and in her little blurb of info, it said that she loves God :) It just clicked why I was drawn to her work- it was God inspired! ....anyway, where was I? Oh, my inspiration of the day... I love crafting. I love trying new things with crafting and I don't like to limit myself to anything- it all works together! I also love clothing. Guess where I'm going with this... YES. I want to make my own clothes!! I'd like to make clothes for the girls, too! First, I have to figure out how to use my sewing machine... the right way. I've used it a few times for silly things, mainly cutesy pillows but nothing too serious. I'm a hand stitcher.... I once handstitched a panel of fabric into a pantleg of my jeans to make really cool looking flares... didn't ever make it to the second leg, it took so long!
I've taken a small amount of time to gather a few bookmarked websites that will help me on my sewing adventure so, I'll be on my way to my very first fabric creations shortly :o)

My goal for taking on this new crafting is geared towards being able to help people in some way. I'm not sure exactly what that is yet but I'm sure God will let me know. I've been crafting since I was a little kid and I'm pretty sure He has given me the desire and a bit of talent in it for a reason... I'm going to praise God somehow through my crafting :)
Thoughts? Ideas?